One Month Ago

Exactly one month and one week ago, we were wondering if we were ever going to be parents. We were discouraged, and wondering what God had in mind for us. Then...

One month ago today we saw Mackenzie's face for the first time, and we have fallen in love with this adorable little girl. It feels surreal that this summer we will be bringing this little girl home to her family. Even though we have been waiting and preparing for her for months and years, no one told Mackenzie, and I know her little world is about to be rocked.

Please pray that her little heart would be at peace, and that she will be open to trusting, and bonding with us!

And pray that she will stay healthy until we can get her the surgery she so badly needs!

Thanks!

Just Because I Liked It...

Lamp Candlesticks

My friend was going to throw these cute little lamps away! (Don't worry, she got cuter ones)

So I took them, and then I realized I didn't need any lamps, I just love their cute little shape.

So I took them all apart, and now?

Now they are my new candlesticks! A little paint (what can I say, I see something, and I want to paint it black), and now I love them even more!

A Little Treatment

Our bay window has had the same treatment on it for five years. It was left by the previous owner, and I was too chicken to deal with it. There was nothing really wrong with it, I thought. I didn't love it, and I even hated it a little, but still I let it stay. Well, no more! After great thought and agonizing about what I wanted my bay window's style to be, I believe I have got it figured out. And after searching high and low at antique stores, I have what I want!

Here, I give you the before. This is the picture of Josh taking down the old treatment. I have no other pictures of them, because, really, why would I?

And here is the new treatment! Antique shutters, and grassroot blinds. It is much more "us", and goes better with our style.

Becoming a Mother

I didn't write this, and I don't know who did, but I know exactly what they were feeling when they did write it. And I cried when I read it.

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be just as good, if not better.
I will be good not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.


~Author Unknown

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Happy Valentine's Day!!

Happy Day of love, everyone! We are off on a weekend getaway, to the chocolate capitol of the US!

Pre-Approval!

We have received our pre-approval from China! This is much sooner than we expected, and were looking to receive it in the next 2-4 weeks.

What happens next?

*We receive our letter of intent (LOI) from the China Center of Adoption Affairs, and we sign it and send it back. This can take anywhere from two weeks to two months.

*Then we wait to receive our travel approval. This can happen anywhere from 1-3 months after we send our letter of intent.

*We travel 3-4 weeks after receiving our Travel approval!

We received a new picture of little Mackenzie, as well! She is so cute, and looks happy and healthy. I can't wait to get to her!

Adoption

About Mackenzie

Mackenzie's birthday is March 16, 2008. She will be just over two years old when we bring her home (yikes!)

Mackenzie has a heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot. This means that there a several things wrong with her heart, and she will need to have surgery when she comes home.

Associated with her heart problem is something called microsia. she is missing one of her ears, and will most likely have corrective surgery on that, as well.

She's the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen, and I am so happy she's mine!

Mackenzie is currently living in Shaanxi province in China, and we have heard good things about the Children's Welfare Institute that she is living in.

According to the file we received, Mackenzie's a deep sleeper, and her favorite food in congee, which is a type of rice porridge. How cute is that?!

Please pray for our daughter. Pray that she would stay healthy and well cared for until we can get to her. I know these next five months are going to be tough on us!

The Story

It all started a few weeks ago...well, actually, the seed was planted last summer.

We were growing discouraged with the ever-increasing wait times for our Taiwan adoption. You might recall that we began our Taiwan adoption on account of the wait times for our China adoption? Yes, I recall that, too. Oh, the irony! Well, they say if you want to make God laugh, then tell Him your plans. God's perfect plan all along was for our China adoption to be completed first. About six months ago, we made the decision to switch our China adoption to special needs. We had talked about it for a year, and decided that, yes, that was the way we should go. We switched agencies a couple moths ago, and were switched to special needs then. At this time we still felt like our Taiwan adoption would come first, and then we would proceed with China.

however, a couple of weeks ago, we had a conference call with our case worker, and several others, and they confirmed what we had suspected. The wait for our Taiwan adoption would be delayed 6-8 months more. They felt it in our best interest to move ahead with our China adoption. We talked it over, and realized that we were both ok with that! So we decided to move ahead. Things happened very quickly at that point, and a few days later, we saw our daughter's face for the first time. I felt drawn to her right away, like it was meant to be. I sent her file on to Josh, and the next day we found out that she was ours if we were interested. We were! On Monday night we called our case worker, and accepted the referral. Now we wait for China's approval! We are hoping to travel in late July.

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers and support!

I'm Gonna Be a Mommy!

That's right! We have accepted the referral of a little girl! In China! Can you believe it?!

Her name is going to be Mackenzie An-Feng Billigmeier. An-Feng is her Chinese name, and we just like Mackenzie. We will post pictures when we are allowed to. It may be a while, as China has rules about when you can put pictures of a child on the internet. Just trust me, she is a cutie!

I will give you details soon!

A New Path

God has re-directed us. We are stepping out in faith on a new path. Stay tuned for more details, I will share them as soon as I can!